I wonder how much help i will really get when the time comes for me to leave this place? I know my sisters have said they will help me etc but to be truthfully honest i am not pinning my hopes on them, as it seems to me (and i'm not just saying this to blow my own trumpet) i always seem to be the one who always helps them out, and i never question why etc. Baybysitting (they have never watched my kids cause he never takes me out anywhere) removals, decorating (dont see my oldest sister getting her hands dirty) gardening(do my oldest sisters garden) pick up and drop off things at the drop of a hat,kids included, Even when my dad died a few years ago, there was an outstanding balance and i went every week religiously for a YEAR!  to the funeral parlour to pay it off and i was on benifits at the time, turned out i got to know some of them because i went that often, now i stay next door to them,strange eh!  And all it would have taken would have been for my sister to write a cheque,( well her man does own 4 bathroom shops ) she did say ages later "oh thats right i was supposed to half you with that outstanding amount and gave me it, but i felt like telling her to shove it!  Even before my dad died he was lost because my mum had died 2 years previous and he was in a 3 bedroom house himself so i let him move in with me for a while till we got him a wee flat. Even though my sister stayed in a big house it was out of the question dad living with her because her man didn't like the fact that he was an alcoholic, I think i have the same nature  my dad had. My younger sister just does her own thing sometimes bypasses my house to visit an aunt who lives nearby and doesn't come in to see me! I always have to go to them they never seem to visit me. She goes out at the weekend with her pals n never thinks to ask me if i would like to go even though she knows i am sitting in the house doing nothing (she says she doesn't think) which probably is the case but i am on a feeling sorry for myself crusade so u's are getting it in the neck. Well i am the middle one of the family and it's true what they say the middle one always gets left out, all through my life it has been like that, they had freinds and i'd try n tag along, they got invited to parties,i didn't. i was bullied at school they weren't, i must have been the only person in history who danced with the teatcher at the dance practises because none of the boys wanted to dance with me! school was shit! Still i've ranted enough ,  at least i have my kids to support me and i think thats enough. trinax