Well i'm back, and i'm a failure........................I went to the womens aid flat but i wasn't happy, don't get me wrong the place was fine and it was only 5 mins from the house. It was liveable and it was clean it was freezing though because it only had storage heaters not central heating so we were sitting with blankets around us. When he discovered we had left, he must have text me and phoned me about 60 times, then my sister was on the phone telling me he was crying to her over the phone and i think it was all too much as i ended up having panic attacks and everything.
I took the kids to asda to get some shopping and had one in there,i nearly abandoned the trolley and walked out, i thought i was going to pass out. I cried my eyes out all night because i knew i couldn't stay there it was making me ill and i felt so guilty for letting Natalie down, i eventually answered one of his texts and arranged to talk to him the next day.
We had a big talk and i agreed to give it another go, so i lasted 2 days and 1 night in the flat, i don't know if it was because i was out of my comfort zone or i felt guilty that people were telling me how upset he was, maybe i do still have some feelings for him, i don't know. Must admit things have been a lot better since i have come back, we have been doing things together and he has been talking to me and were arranging to redecorate the house and been going out for dinner like a familly, i spoke to the women who was from womens aid and i said i felt really guilty and had let a lot of people down, but she was very reasuring and told me not to worry about it and to know that they are still there if i decide it hasn't worked out and i wanted to leave again,, so i'll see how things go and if it lasts, had to tell him to stop kissing and cuddling me every 5 minutes it was starting to bug me! and he has such a high sex drive its wearing me out, suppose thats one good point he has, anyway hope all my blog pals are fine, not read my posts yet will get around to it and will tell you's how my sisters 40th party went on sat later. (P.S I have a new car, will tell you's about that too)
It's good to be back!!!!!! 
