why is it so hard, all i want is a happy peacefull life, i dont want much, i am sitting in floods of tears while i write this,natalie and mo have been at it again, he has been chinnin her about keepin her room clean and she says he should'nt be in her room , then he says if her room was clean he wouldn't be in it , she says she is working all day and doesn't get a chance cause he comes in and tydies it, i can see it from both points but i am getting really down. we have been getting on so well now it's back to square 1 i am feeling so bad i feel like cutting myself again, he has refused to come in to her room since it's happened on monday and as we are decorating said she will have to get an other electrition and joiner to do the work to do her room up cause she wants a new light and some shelfs taken down, he said when we came back "Natalie can do what ever she wants" I think that was a bit short lived...
I am just going to bed crying! 
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safriz
- http://www.conspiror.blog.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 02:30:46
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that is good advice..big hug
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trintrin1x
- 2008-07-04 @ 09:47:10
I know what you are saying BUT the big problem is Mo isn't Natalies dad, he has been with me since she was about 5 and thats what makes thing worse he has already threatened to throw her out once before because of her attitude and even though i love him i will always stick by her.
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safriz
- http://www.conspiror.blog.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 12:15:11
In that case he must be struggling to find his place in the family,and this can be really painful.
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trintrin1x
- 2008-07-04 @ 13:25:54
So what can i do as i feel i am stuck in the middle, i know counciling might help but he would not go for that. It's because he does not show her any respect she does not show him any and vice versa they are just constantly rebounding off one another.
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safriz
- http://www.conspiror.blog.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 15:52:24
I know.Go to the gym build some muscles,buy a whip.Have a tatoo of a skull on your arm.Then both of them will listen to you. init?
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safriz
- http://www.conspiror.blog.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 16:44:45
I know i am a nosy person,and can't see my friends sad.
About mo not going for counsellings,there should be a way out.There must be some person in his immediate family whom you can approach,and ask for assistance.He did the same by approaching your sister,and it did help?
Same about nat,there must be someone among her friends or in the school/college or relatives whom you can ask for assistance.Someone who has good friendly relation with her?
But the truth is that children grow up and start their own lives,but partners are for ever.
And we can't solve each and every problem in our life.There are situations with which we have to live and accept them as they are. x-
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trintrin1x
- 2008-07-04 @ 16:55:33
I don't think your nosey, i think your a nice caring person and are trying to help me and i apreciate it, as for his family the only one that lives local is his sister n they don't see much of each other plus she recently married and Mo didn't approve because his sister is disabled and he thinks the guy is just after a green card and then piss off.
XXX
PS. Good idea abou the gym! x -
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Usksider
Pro - http://www.usksider.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 04:33:46
Don't give up hun...
I'm sorry I don't have anything really useful to say here, but I do know that self-harm and giving up aren't the answers...
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}-
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trintrin1x
- 2008-07-04 @ 09:47:57
Thank you
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Usksider
Pro
- http://www.usksider.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 14:04:52
You're welcome.
How're you feeling today?-
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trintrin1x
- 2008-07-04 @ 14:23:11
Alright, my backs a bit sore as i had to lift the carpet in Natalies room last night as he refused to go in it, i feel like banging both their heads together maybe that will knock some sense into them
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Usksider
Pro
- http://www.usksider.co.uk
- 2008-07-04 @ 14:29:10
I do sympathise... a knocking together of heads might be a very sound idea!
Sorry to hear about your back, but glad to hear you're a bit more cheerful today. -
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I would suggest that you keep your life as a partner and life as a mother separate from each other.
Let him deal with the kids the way he wants,and same applies to you.
If he wants to be a dad,just let him.You will not feel good if he stops interacting with the kids.
In my opinion,such harsh rows in a family are common.Specially when the kids are growing up,and in their teen ages.
Teen agers are hard to handle.This should not effect your relation with your partner.
You won't like him to interfere when you are dealing with the kids as a mother.He wont like any interference either.
But just because a daughter had an argument with her dad,you should not give up.
Just try to be diplomatic.Take sides with both parties.Ask her to listen to mo,and tidy her room.
Ask mo to be polite,and both of you may help natalie in tidying up her room.
That way all parties will be happy,i suppose.