Had a phone call, last night about 1.30, i was still up and it was Natalies dad.

He was inconsoulable, couldn't get a word out him for ages. He has phoned me before and i have told him he is depressed, to go to the doctor n get some help.
He kept going on about how sorry he was about what he did to me years ago , how he let me down when we were married and stuff,
tell u a story

Fell pregnant at 20, soon as his Mother found out, when u's getting married, cause they were devout catholcs.
Got a house in Cranhill, just him working.
Decided he didn'y like working, wanted to be with his pals to smoke Hash,as in most times overnight,.............. then i was left with the baby all the time in a horrible area.
Struggling for money, having to ask his parents
Didn't have a cooker or fridge for 6 months cause we couldn't afford one so had to buy microwave meals all the time (his parents bought it as a housewarming present)
My sister was working with the social work and managed to get us a cooker n fridge someone was giving away
He decided to chuck it work that is, so was barred from the brew for 6 months and did not get any dole money
I decided to go back to work when Natalie was 6 months
Had to get up at 6 in the morning to walk to his parents house so they could watch Natalie while i was at work
I only lasted 6 months and then found out he hadn't claimed for Housing Bennefit so we were up to our eyeballs in rent arrears
Was that bad i was having cold toast for lunch in work, my supervisor even lent me a tenner cause she could see how bad things were
By this time i had had enough and decided to leave him
I ended up leaving my job and made myself homeless
Natalie was just over 1
I was in and out of 3 different homeless flats before i was offered a house of my own
Natalie was 4

Everytime i went up to his parents house to let them see Natalie, i was always sneered at or ignored and given dirty looks cause they blamed me for us splitting up. Chris lost the flat.

So now were 15 more years down the line and i'm not just saying this to make me look good but he has never had another serious relationship and lives with his brother in the parents house as both parents are now dead.
He has never had any real relationship with Natalie as he didn't see her for years then when he did it would be months at a time he would not have any contact with her, this is still the case not even a phone call.
I have never received any money from him towards her upbringing apart from a couple of cheques from the CSA at £40 each, everytime they caught up with him when he was working he would chuck his job so he would not have to pay it.

Sometimes when he's drunk he phones me to tell me he still loves me and how sorry he is, why can't he just move on, he is depressed because he is lonley but there is nothing i can do about that. I am begining to worry, i would never forgive him if he did something stupid because i know Natalie loves her dad and would be devastated. Trina :) x